"It’s better when you win it"

IRelevant XKCD Comic‘ve observed for several years now, that a lot of people who participate in online auctions have a very different perception of reality, economy, and capitalism than I do. Hearing phrases like “I won that on eBay” have always made me wince, because in my perception of reality they “won” the “privilege” of paying for something. It’s like walking down an aisle at Wal-Mart, dumping random things in your cart and sing-song saying to the next person you see “Look at all of the stuff I have won the privilege of buying!” You would get very strange looks. I’ve talked to living humans who have actually paid MORE for something than you can buy it for elsewhere, but were falling over themselves with glee because they “won” it. Of course, being the realistic asshole I am, my observation of “Um, you didn’t win it, you bought it.. And you paid more for it used than StoreX sells it for new” are met with contemptuous tirades about me raining on parades or- my favorite- “can’t you ever be happy for me”.

Most people who know me, simply know not to talk about online auctions with me. I just “don’t get it”.

So tonight, during an exceedingly rare TV-watching occurance, I was affronted with a commercial that has made all of this very clear to me… and has also caused me to question the heinousness of genocide.

The commercial has a group of adults riding bikes and wearing hideous bike helmets (redundant, I know). Some of them have what appear to be “hunting dogs”. All are riding through the woods. Every few seconds this ugly metal lunch box pops out of the brush and everyone rushes for it, only to see it elsewhere. Finally, at the end, one woman launches off of her bike and grabs the lunch box before it can go anywhere, holding it high while everyone else looks at her longingly. The commercial ends with the statement “It’s better when you win it” along with the eBay logo.

So it’s very clear now. Humans are stupid, gullible, idiots who believe that because someone ELSE wanted the same thing they wanted, it has MORE value than it would if they were the only one. It’s not about the THING, it’s about acquiring something someone else wants.

So yeah, I’m still disgusted. I still think people like this need to think – just for 2 minutes – about what’s going on. I still “don’t get it”.

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