Dear Asshole,

You may have thought it was amusing to book a week at a posh Malaysian resort with my credit card. You may have thought yourself shrewd because you tactfully made the reservation the first day of the new billing cycle, giving yourself 30 days to vacation and get away before a piece of paper landed my way. Too bad for you that I pay my bill online, and noticed the charge-yet-to-be-billed sitting on the screen in front of me. Of note, I know I’ve met you. I know this because the card you used is my in-person card. I never use it online. I only hand it to people I make eye contact with. Some people might be frightened by the prospect that someone they do business with is illegally imprinting their credit card. I am not that person. It gives me hope that I will meet you again, notice the irregularity, and severely beat you- thereafter dragging you by your hair or ears to the local police station: Whichever causes you more pain.

Matthew Keller

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1 Response to Dear Asshole,

  1. Pingback: Security Is Hard. @ M@Blog

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